There is an inexplicable adrenaline rush in taking a risk, be it a heavily calculated one or to act upon a minuscule, entirely harmless impulse. For a self-proclaimed risk-averse entity such as myself, taking a risk means letting down my guard. It means being of two minds, and choosing to make a decision that, possibly, scares the living daylights out of me.
I like to think that I’m tough, that I have uncommon mettle. I suppose that life teaches us all to believe that about ourselves. It is, quite frankly, difficult to survive and live otherwise. Our strength and belief in ourselves pushes us forward, through tough times financially, professionally and personally. Being able to rely completely on oneself is an evolutionary mechanism that has been used with great success by our forefathers. Unfortunately, it also makes us far too sensible for our own good.
Madiba had once said, “There is no passion to be found playing small – In settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” He should know. He put his money where his mouth is. “Playing small” is the mindset ingrained in many women, by a heavily patriarchal and sheltered society. I should know. I have lived it. I am the product of an environment where people relied deeply on me, and women in general, to be intelligent, sensible and careful. It is an environment I share not only with many Indian, middle-east bred women, but also with women of other cultures across the world. We were constantly told that the world would take advantage of us if we didn’t push ourselves to be safe at all costs. “Safety first.”
While this may be partially true, I think it may also have given us the inaccurate impression that women were not supposed to take calculated risks.
Think about it. At every educational level, women are now more qualified, and have higher test scores on average, than men. Yet, we continue to earn less. We continue to fill mid-level executive positions rather than lead at the very top. We continue to be balanced, holistic and sensible.
Don’t get me wrong. Those are great qualities to have. In fact, it would be amazing if all leaders possessed those attributes. If women practiced these traits as leaders, the results would undoubtedly be promising. We already know that women have successfully used the above to build their homes, nurture their families and achieve personal growth. But let me be one of many to confess – I need to be pushed outside of my comfort zone sometimes – professionally, financially and personally, to take a risk. I may not always act upon an impulse which I intuitively know would reap benefits, for the simple fear of “acting upon an impulse.” I need people that and circumstances which force me to take a hard look at my fortunate safety net – of a good salary, a home, a loving family – and take tiny steps to assert my own individuality.
I have taken decisions in the past that were risky, by any normal person’s standards. Certainly by my family’s standards. 🙂 Nothing too alarming, I assure you. Just running a 17 km race with a bad injury. Jumping out of an airplane at an altitude of 10,500 feet. Traveling to Boston one weekend on a whim. The usual. My point is that I can channel these small acts of perceived rebellion (against society? against chauvinism? I’m not sure, but in my head, I’m kind of badass!) to achieve so much more! I could apply it to my career, by thinking independently of money, and pursuing my life long dream of being a writer, an environmentalist, an entrepreneur and an activist all at once. I could apply it to my personal life by making friends with people who inspire me, challenge me and make me better, by sharing these nuggets of information about myself with them.
Sadly, we live in a world where not too many women get told that they can be whatever they want to be. And even if we are told that, the subtext of abiding my cultural norms, that may not always make logical sense, is always a hidden, underlying theme. I have a choice, even if no one has offered it to me.
I have a choice. I can stay true to my values, and yet, I can fly. I can be seeped in tradition and culture, and yet fight for the things that I believe deeply in. The two are not conflicting by any means. This choice can neither be offered to me, nor can it be taken away from me. There is an adrenaline rush in taking a risk. In fact, I should fight to take the risks that I believe in. And I can enjoy the rush afterwards with the knowledge that, for a highly sensible person, I may just have done a crazy, impulsive thing.
She behaves as if she was beautiful - it is the secret of her charm. 